a new blog

hiya, just a quick post, I am closing this blog, it doesnt seem to 'fit' anymore.....here's the new blog, will be updated daily, writing is supposed to be good....I hope everyone is well

http://widowedmummyof5.blogspot.co.uk/

new year...new life

Hiya...lack of blogging recently - my apologies, and also my thanks for all your kind words....the past few weeks have been non other than sheer hell, i don't know how else to describe it.....it was 4 weeks yesterday and nope its not getting any better, I still keep expecting jon to come home - demanding for him to come home actually...the kids - well I am in awe of them, they are so brave, and the way the community is pulling together to help us is utterly amazing, i have so many people i can turn to, but you know sometimes i just don't have it in me to pick up the phone...i am just breathing in and out, going hour by hour...its all i can manage...long term future wise i just dont know what to do, people keep telling me not to make big decisions right now, but i feel i need to do something, this house..these four walls may be the breaking of me, so many rumours are going around, and i have tried to find the courage to tell people the truth but i have no desire to imprint the image what i have in my head into anyone elses....one thing that hurts like hell is folk saying it was suicide - that could not be further from the truth, and that in itself could be so damaging if it got back to my babies, jon was happier than he had ever been up here, he found his heaven which i guess is ironic seen as this is where he will stay forever, i tried so hard to save him, i have never tried so hard for anything in my life with every ounce of my being i just wanted to breathe the life back into my soulmate...i cant put into words how hard things are at the minute...trying to hide my tears so the kids dont see...i am only 29 and in these 29 years my heart has had so much pain..i just keep telling myself it cannot get worse..it just cant, i'm just trapped in hell on earth, please,please stop rumours...think of my babies xxxxxxxxx

R.I.P

My life,my soul, my best friend...words just cant cover it...sleep well jon, I will make you proud of me & your babies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ho ho ho :)

boo :)

What a busy month, with such a large brood of little folk in the house its really rather exciting this time of year.....especially with our youngest who insists on asking if santa has been every single morning :) the excitement is catching and the atmosphere here is lovely, its hectic for me trying to get organised/prepared and of course wrap up all the pressie's without the tribe seeing...which in itself is a hugeeeeeeeeee blummin challenge!!! ......I am focusing lots on handmade this year, of course smellies...but am making fruit vodka for grown ups, snowman soups for little people, lollypops, fudge,christmas cards,tags,rainbow cookie kits, just to name a few!!!! ....the weekends are spent with a roaring fire and christmas films...all snuggled up on the sofas...bliss :) ...the tree is going up friday, so that saturday the house is decorated for twinkletoe's the elfs arrival...no I haven't gone mad!!! Its the first year we are introducing the elf tradition ..I am following in lots of my friends footsteps...have a nosey here .......http://christmas.organizedhome.com/celebrate/magic-elf-tradition  .....see I am not mad - HONESTLY ;) ......I have also made a very simple advent calendar for the kids but instead of being filled with sweets everyday has a different craft / something to do for others...

 

christmas is my alllll time favourite time of year ...although I wish the tribe would stop growing so quickly!! I dread the year when they are all too big to believe in santa and am squeezing as much excitement I can out of the tribe whilst I still can.......if only littleones came with pause buttons!!!! 

How's your christmas planning coming along???? xxxxxxxxxxx

creeping towards winter....brrrrrrrrrrrrr

Boo :)

You know I do not know where the days/weeks/months go!! I never seem to find the time to sit and blog! or at least when I do my brain just doesn't seem to function as to what to write!!! .....it truly has been a glorious summer up here is my first point, so much sunshine, sea & strolling along the many beaches thinking just how lucky we are to live in such a beautiful place ......works still work, ticking along nicely keeping us all afloat, putting food on the table to feed the tribe! ....up here a permanent job isn't all too easy to come by so I consider myself lucky to have the job I do, and my little business is still going very strong :) oh for an extra pair of hands!!! 

The weather is changing rapidly to darkness and cold...I know that lots of folk up here do not like the winters, I personally try and embrace the change, wind down, relax more and wrap up warm...nows the time for hot chocolate, warm pj's and roaring fires...we have a huge pile of wood that we are chopping as we go for the fire...all free heat :) and the energy used chopping the wood certainly helps to burn the calories...I have managed to loose 2 stone off my bulky frame so far and am feeling better for it thats for sure, aiming for another stone gone by xmas..and that I consider the very best present to myself as my health is improving :) 

We have had birthdays a plenty and still have a fair few to go before xmas, I sit and watch the tribe growing and wish I could just pause them, keep them smaller a bit longer..they grow so quickly, this xmas is a turning point for the family I think, the christmas lists no longer mainly consist of barbies and lego...its now tablets, ipods, computers.......society drives me mad! the battles I have had trying to explain to the kids that they DON'T NEED all the technology under the sun just goes in one ear and out of the other....its such a hard battle as I don't want my babies to miss out, but I don't want them to grow up too quickly either....I really do not think the fact that school sets homework to do on comupters now helps either!..I shall not get ranting on that one..but what the heck is wrong with pens & paper????????? 

I shall leave you with a bunch of random pics over the past few months, pics that make my heart burst with pride,joy & happiness .......and a promise, that as we wind down into winter I shall sit here more often with my hot chocolate in one hand and my keyboard in the other...blogging away..........keep well, keep warm & keep smiling xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Where do the days go????

Wednesday.......hmmmmmmmmmmmmm manic morning, full house lots to dooooooooooo...quick trip back home then back out again for training at my new job...which was really fun actually..do not really know what I was expecting..but I can see already that I am going to enjoy working with the folk there....8 hour shift tommorow...eeeeeek, am looking forward to it, just wish my sleep pattern wasn't so off...I am sure my sleepless nights aren't helped by the 2 kitties who think 2 am is playtime/eat your toes/lick your nose time!..followed by dexter who must think 'oh sod it I am gonna jump on the bed too' then throw into the mix a snoring like a train hubby..who was severely shouted at at 3am this morning..yet he didn't here a word or feel a thing when I was trying to kick him out of the bed to cure his snoring (am not a meany wife really ;) ) then finally catch some sleep only to be dived on at 6am mummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy can I have some toast!!!.........never a dull moment here that's for sure!!!!!...but I seriously need to get my sleep sorted to work 8hr shifts!!..maybe a caravan in the garden??? lol .....................

The snoring hubby and tribe of monkeys have had a lovely day..playing happily, the fave toy at the minute is a big pink castle...lots of imagination going on, talking, playing....happiness!!...I must confess  this week is driving me potty going backwards and forwards, here,there and everywhere as I am not really getting any quality time with my tribe..but I know its best for the future and things will settle down.............8hrs tommorow, last day in old job on friday...family day saturday :) ...8hr shift sunday...........I tell ya if theres no rest for the wicked then I must have been a total sodding witch in a previous life ;) .....................

aware I am babbling nonsense I shall leave you with random pics...lots to catch up on...then away I go...new pj's..did I ever tell u about my pj addiction??..maybe another night...though its notched up a level since dear mr.grey came around..now If your a woman I simply do not believe you haven't read 50 shades!!!!!! ;))) nanite lovely folk..............................xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

reasons to be cheerful!

Well according to the stornoway gazette on good old face f*ck....yes its not faceb*ok to me anymore as its always broken.....we are apparently the happiest people in the uk according to a survey compiled by the office of national statistics...now I would agree wholeheartedly, but there's a fair few locals asking which survey as they hadn't done it! the comments on the gazette always scream out to me as showing rather clearly that people born & bred here don't tend to agree, yet us 'incomers' are always really positive about the isles...I can hand on heart say its a truly beautiful place to live with a TRUE sense of a community spirit...now I know you cant please all the people all of the time, but I for one won't ever forget the beauty on my doorstep or the privileged life we lead..yes its a tad more expensive to live here..but the financial cost is vastly outweighed by the true sense of belonging and happiness...I know, I know..someone pass us the sick bucket...but its true :))!!!

Its lovely to live in a place where news isn't really a sinister affair!! 

Plus the sun is looking set to return...crossing fingers!!!! I can even deal with powercuts when the sun shines! ....I would have been quite happy cooking up a storm on our many camping stoves had the power not returned so quickly today! ;) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx